1. |
Gone Beyond
03:43
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The words 'gone beyond' in the title track of this album refer to transcending, moving onward--a celebration of letting go of what has been holding one back. The death and rebirth that happens when we are no longer weighed down by conditions. I hope that the listener can relate to this song in whatever way they need or want to at a given time.
Struggling to find the bottom
And as you tread the waves
You make contact with currents
That could carry you for days
Float on your back
Finding shapes in the clouds
There is no sign of danger
Nothing to figure out
You’ve gone beyond
You’ve gone beyond
Gone beyond
Swimming for the surface
You give way to the flow
The sunlight spills on treasure
You had dreamt of long ago
Release the expectation
That there’ll be a debt to pay
You’ve permission to good fortune
And a place that you can stay
You’ve gone beyond
Gone beyond
Gone beyond
Hold it up to your ear
Place it back in the sea
All the spirals inside a shell
Whisper of some memory
And all the rooms inside your heart
Echo of what you believe
You’ve gone beyond
Gone beyond
Gone beyond
Gone beyond
You’ve gone beyond
Gone beyond
Gone beyond
Gone beyond
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2. |
Fool
03:42
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This song initially began as an exercise in using similes. (Mission accomplished!) However, it took on more meaning as I found myself frustrated and questioning why it is sometimes so difficult to extinguish or move on from what we know is no longer serving us. Change is hard, isn't it?
Why do I always go erasing
Every time I grow close to facing
What I know in my heart to be true?
Who am I to go pretending
When in my mind I’m only ever spending
Every second of every minute with you?
Like a purple bruise that won’t seem to heal
Like a rock lodged in the spoke of a wheel
I go ‘round in circles losing fuel
Like a speck of dust caught in your eye
Like a brand new kite that refuses to fly
I may seem as stubborn as a mule
But I’m really just a hopeless fool
When did I get used to hiding?
My left and right brain are always fighting
Over what to do or say
How can I keep on blaming circumstance?
I’m so tired of claiming that tomorrow
Will be different than today
Like a purple bruise that won’t seem to heal
Like a rock lodged in the spoke of a wheel
I go ‘round in circles losing fuel
Like a speck of dust caught in your eye
Like a brand new kite that refuses to fly
I may seem as stubborn as a mule
But I’m really just a hopeless fool
Oh, tell me what to do
Looking for something new, something more
Oh, baby, I’m moving on
Can’t be a puppet or a pawn, won’t be ignored
Like a purple bruise that won’t seem to heal
Like a rock lodged in the spoke of a wheel
I go ‘round in circles losing fuel
Like a speck of dust caught in your eye
Like a brand new kite that refuses to fly
I may seem as stubborn as a mule
But I’m really just a hopeless fool
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3. |
Who's To Say
03:10
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Acknowledging that it is okay to not know--to not have all the answers--to not be perfect and to work toward patience. It is in breaking free from that desire for control that it becomes easier to not rely on false displays or façades that only get in the way. Of course, none of that is easy to do, but this song suggests we might try.
I’m misaligned, I’m out to lunch
Oh, you lost me way back there
I try to float and hold my breath
But the truth is I don’t care
Putting on pretenses
And if I’m suspended in time
Then the weight of my mind
Can drift for awhile
But I’m still looking for you
In everyone that I see
I can’t trick my head so well
When my heart just won’t agree
It’s like a river rising
I could start revising the route
Afraid of it flooding me out
But the story remains
And who’s to say where I have to land?
Looking back over my shoulder
Reaching forward for your hand
They talk of natural order
But I’m not sure what that means
Maybe I can make it up as I go
And still land on my feet
I want to sing something new
And mean it for a change
It's all about the words you choose
How they shift and rearrange
With no limitations
And if I’m patient enough
Don’t worry if it’s still rough
Then I’m on my way
And who’s to say where I have to land?
Looking back over my shoulder
Reaching forward for your hand
They talk of natural order
But I’m not sure what that means
Maybe I can make it up as I go
And still land on my feet
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4. |
Garden
03:07
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A song about loving and doing so purely, without restraint. While this song can be for anyone, I originally wrote this as an ode to self-love--not in an egotistical fashion, but in the spirit of self-compassion despite one's mistakes, backslides, and those twisty paths that often lead us to guilt, shame, and stagnancy. I'm still learning and maybe you are too. I think I we all deserve love on that journey.
Lead me to your garden, girl
Let me find a way
To shed this skin and step right in
Without old fear and shame
Before time becomes tangled up
Before I lose my nerve
Take my hand and comfort me
Please show me something pure
I am spoiled and blinded by
All the reasons that I’ve lied
And all the love I’ve kept inside
Is waiting for you
Wild and unafraid
No one will find us here
No reason we should hide
The open door and sky above
I let go of my pride
Before time becomes tangled up
Before I lose my nerve
Take my hand and comfort me
Please show me something pure
I am spoiled and blinded by
All the reasons that I’ve lied
And all the love I’ve kept inside
Is waiting for you
Yes, all the love I’ve kept inside
Is waiting for you
Wild and unafraid
Wild and unafraid
Wild and unafraid
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5. |
Let Me Out
04:17
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The oldest song on this album, written all the way back in Austin, TX. I wrote this after watching 1970 Czech film Valerie & Her Week of Wonders (based on Vítězslav Nezval's 1935 novel). The imagery in the movie inspired the music and lyrics... caught between darkness and light, reverie and nightmare, coming of age amidst the push and pull of love, sex, occult and religion.
Climb up the ladder, holding light
What would you steal from me tonight?
Behind a mask, wrapped in your cloak
Untie my hair and hold me close
Just hold me close
And when I’m running through a field
Some strange demon at my heels
Something watches from its tower
Drops of blood on every flower
On every flower
Oh, I’ll leave my dress behind
As they preach from up on high
Bury the letter they’ll never see
Our limbs stretched out against a tree
Burning quietly at the stake
Tie me up and I will wake
Wings are beating against my chest
Leave me now like all the rest
For all the rest
Skin so pale in a room of white
Blood on my teeth, I’m kept alive
Kiss me now, ignore their cries
You’ve turned golden before my eyes
In my eyes
Oh, I’ll leave my dress behind
As they preach from up on high
Bury the letter they’ll never see
Our limbs stretched out against a tree
So let me in, let me out
Let me in, let me out
Do not give your secret out
Do not give your secret out
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6. |
All Along
04:41
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I call this 'a love song from a ghost.' While there may be a playful element to this theme, it is also meant to represent the connection between the deceased and the living that continues on after a person leaves this realm. This is not meant to necessarily suggest a specific spiritual belief about an afterlife, but to offer the idea that we can remain connected through memory, objects, and our senses.
I’ll tell you when I touch the ground
I’ve been levitating since I came to town
Since I came to town, there is whispering
Of unbidden sound, a distant history
Like Orion shining through the skeletal trees
See Orion shining through the skeletal trees
A somersault in mid-air
Then I disappear, you swear you saw me there
You saw me there, but in the end
You told yourself it was just pretend
Now I’m up all night trying to transcend
Now I’m up all night trying to send
A sign that I’m here with you
Could appear in the mirror, visit a dream or two
I call out your name, a flicker of light, our favorite song
Don’t worry, darling, I’ve been here all along
Does it seem like a foreign thing?
This open hand that I’m offering
I’m offering, I’m singing out
‘Til you can believe and there is no doubt
That you can still find what you’re looking for
That you will still find what you’re looking for
A sign that I’m here with you
Could appear in the mirror, visit a dream or two
I call out your name, a flicker of light, our favorite song
Don’t worry, darling, I’ve been here all along
In the darkness, I’ve been here all along
In the hard times, I’ve been here all along
Don’t worry, darling, I’ve been here all along
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7. |
Never Ask You
03:12
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Another song born out of an interesting songwriting exercise--to write from the perspective of an inanimate object. I chose a wonderful purveyor of music: the beloved record player needle... although this could also be sung from the perspective of a lover or a friend as well.
You set me down to lift you up again
Or make some room to cry
I’ll never ask you for a reason why
I’ve got an inkling
That you need me more than you let on
I’ve got a feeling
You’ll be dusting me off before too long
You seek my company when you need a song
You set me down to lift you up again
Or make some room to cry
I’ll never ask you for a reason why
Set the record straight
I’ll send it spinning ‘round and ‘round
I’ll try not to skip ahead
Keep it steady in the sound
So pure and close, so lost and found
Oh, if you let me, I’ll take you back in time
And if you need to cry
I’ll never ask you for a reason why
And I know I’m not the only one
I know there’s many more like me
But please be gentle with your hand
And I will do the best I can
To ease your mind and set your heart free
Oh, if you let me, I’ll take you back in time
And if you need to cry
I’ll never ask you for a reason why
So set me down to lift you up again
Or make some room to cry
I’ll never ask you for a reason why
I’ll never ask you for a reason why
I’ll never ask you for a reason why
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8. |
Make It Clear
03:23
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This song comes from a similar place as the second track "Fool" (and, in fact, even includes the word "fool"). It is a song of coming to terms with the worries and questions that come with a reckoning that something must change. However, it comes from a less angsty space and a more understanding one. Knowing that there is a lesson in the waiting as well. (For those of you that are familiar with the term 'cognitive distortions,' you may notice the terms fortune-telling, mind-reading, and all-or-nothing. That's the nerdy therapist in me emerging.)
Are you willing? Are you able
To lay it all out on the table?
Tired of fortune-telling and mind-reading
This ache for answers has been feeding all my fears
Oh, baby, make it clear… ooo
At the mercy of nighttime
The wheel is spinning and the moon is shining bright
And sleep will carry me into another day
Where I fool myself into forgetting the words I’d like to say
Softening edges, tearing out pages
Tiptoeing lightly, shifting in stages
When will this cycle, never-ending
Vicious, counterfeit pretending, let me be?
Oh, darling, look at me… ooo
At the mercy of nighttime
The wheel is spinning and the moon is shining bright
And sleep will carry me into another day
Where I fool myself into forgetting the words I’d like to say
What is the lesson I’m learning?
Let it overthrow, let it overflow these bounds
It's never been all-or-nothing
There’s a space between
There’s a light I’ve seen in you
It's time to make it clear… ooo
It's time to make it clear… ooo
It's time to make it clear… ooo
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9. |
Paper & String
04:26
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A song about loss and hurt and that arduous, messy art of finding closure. As simple and as complicated as that.
All these rules to follow
Definitions to memorize
An expectation
To learn a new language overnight
But all I have is a memory
Of that song you used to sing
Pretend to piece myself together
Like I am made of paper and string
Turn the lights down low
As the night air trickles in the window
If I could leave, you know I would
But I’m bound to a dream
It trails me along
Makes me believe you could do no wrong
But, deep inside, I already know
The damage is done
Call me by a new name
And if you say it loud enough
Let it linger in the air
You may see me as someone you could love
Now all I have is a memory
Of some song you used to sing
Years go by and I unravel and fray
Like I am made of paper and string
Made of paper and string
Turn the lights down low
As the night air trickles in the window
If I could leave, you know I would
But I’m bound to a dream
It trails me along
Makes me believe you could do no wrong
But, deep inside, I already know
The damage is done
Oh, I’m a moth to the flame
Some worn-out cliché, history repeating
They say, “Focus on your breathing, feet on the ground, heart beating”
But your silence is all I can hold onto
It trails me along
Makes me believe you could do no wrong
But, deep inside, I already know
The damage is done
Deep inside, I already know
The damage is done
Deep inside, I already know
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10. |
No Translation
03:12
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A song of searching for connection--that which has been lost, that which is being found. Also a song of appreciation for the experience of connection to another person and what takes place in that space.
Looking for a sign of life
A movement in that desert of time
The sand that sits, the nameless days
A well run dry and I cannot trace your spirit
Tell me if I’m near it, hot or cold
Used to be no question of how
Or when or why to believe, but now
It's measured out, an inch, a mile
Go check the news—is it still in style to feel?
Searching for something real before I go
The air in your lungs
Our chambers of heart
The wings in my stomach
A work of art
I’m lying awake remembering
I’m lying awake remembering
I’m lying awake
I’m lying awake
The clock resumes, the ticking strong
A pulsing rhythm, the body’s song
Got a front row seat every night
And a burning wish to make things right
There’s no translation for this love
The air in your lungs
Our chambers of heart
The wings in my stomach
A work of art
I’m lying awake remembering
I’m lying awake remembering
I’m lying awake
The air in your lungs
Our chambers of heart
The wings in my stomach
A work of art
I’m lying awake remembering
I’m lying awake remembering
I’m lying awake translating your love
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Caitlin Kraus Athens, Ohio
Originally from Columbus, OH, Caitlin Kraus is a singer and songwriter living in Athens, OH. Kraus has performed her music solo and with a band over the past decade. Her music is melodic, largely lyric-based, and falls within indie-folk/alternative genres. ... more
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